It Was A Dark And Stormy Night...
Many people will recognize these famous opening lines (see if you can guess the novel and/or author - answers below the fold):
But how many of these can you identify (or rather, endure)?
Find out who actually wrote these lines, and read others as nauseatingly horrible, HERE. Think you can dobetter worse? Submit your opening line in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
"Call me Ishmael."
"The year 1866 was signalised by a remarkable incident, a mysterious and puzzling phenomenon, which doubtless no one has yet forgotten."
"The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us."
"Since Aramis's singular transformation into a confessor of the order, Baisemeaux was no longer the same man."
But how many of these can you identify (or rather, endure)?
"No man is an island, so they say, although the small crustaceans and the bird which sat impassively on Dirk Manhope's chest as he floated lazily in the pool would probably disagree."
"Harvey placed the muzzle of the .45 against his head, and as the cold steel touched his temple a sudden shiver raced along his spine, and the hair-trigger took on the frisson, his brains missing Marlene's photo, where he wanted it to go, and splattered across his burgundy nightgown, so he got the color combination right."
"She had whispered wantonly, "Come to bed, Yul," but was now staring in utter disgust because the green lava lamp was too revealingly bright as he fumbled to adjust his new Merken, a $300 pubic toupee that had looked like a steal on eBay, but now looked just like a wet Tribble that had inexplicably crawled up his crack from an old "Star Trek" episode. "
Find out who actually wrote these lines, and read others as nauseatingly horrible, HERE. Think you can do
The novels and authors:
"Call me Ishmael."
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
"The year 1866 was signalised by a remarkable incident, a mysterious and puzzling phenomenon, which doubtless no one has yet forgotten."
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne
"The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us."
The Time Machine by H.G. Wells
"Since Aramis's singular transformation into a confessor of the order, Baisemeaux was no longer the same man."
The Man in the Iron Mask by Alexandre Dumas
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
Paul Clifford by Edward Bulwer-Lytton
"Call me Ishmael."
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
"The year 1866 was signalised by a remarkable incident, a mysterious and puzzling phenomenon, which doubtless no one has yet forgotten."
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne
"The Time Traveller (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite matter to us."
The Time Machine by H.G. Wells
"Since Aramis's singular transformation into a confessor of the order, Baisemeaux was no longer the same man."
The Man in the Iron Mask by Alexandre Dumas
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
Paul Clifford by Edward Bulwer-Lytton
