Or, welcome to my low-maintenance heck.
Today, I hope to explore more of Kim Jong Il's official biography. Well, his official North Korean
biography, in particular.
You may not be aware of this, but Kim Jung Il is considered to be deity
in North Korea. That's right, I said deity!
So, via my Unofficial DPRK Impersonation Machine, I am proud to bring you the Greatest Story Ever Told
(and laughed at):According to official People's Folklore, again brought to us by Rick Ross, we have now learned that, contrary to the
vile propaganda put out by Capitalist Pigs(tm), who have the
audacity to claim that Generalissimo Kim was born in Russia during the Korean war, our Great General was actually born at Mount Paekdu!Why is this significant? Well, vile Capitalist, if you cared enough to learn
the People's Truth, you would know that the great Korean Nation was
created at this very spot, 4000 years ago, by
the divine bear-man!Only upon such a
sacred spot could
the Sun of North Korea be born! In fact, the moment was
so sacred, that a star (not just
any star, but
THE Socialist People's Star!) shone brightly overhead at the moment of Generalissimo Kim's birth!While our Great Leader was still a mere child, he would walk amongst his parents garden, calming down and shushing all of the little insects who lived there, so that his father, the Great People's General Kim Il-Sung, could rest his head peacefully from a weary day of doing The People's Work.Nowadays, our beloved Generalissimo is a celebrated movie director, a world-renowned movie critic, and an artistic
(Ok, now it's back to being the Real Brian.)
It's been a delight to bring you part of the Great Generalissimo's story. Hopefully, I'll be able to share more of it with you at a later time. After all, we don't want to spoil the surprise all at once, do we?