Or, welcome to my low-maintenance heck.
While it's not as awesome as sharks with frickin' lasers attached to their heads, I am obligated to say that this little device comes in close second.
From henceforth, no single personal arsenal is complete without
one of these little bad boys.
(h/t The Pat Dollard
, who has some military-grade language to describe the sheer awesomeness of how awesome this invention is. It's like toys on Christmas, I tell ya!)