The Ghost of Snapped Shot

Or, welcome to my low-maintenance heck.

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Trending Stalinist in Gerry Connolly's Fairfax County

Thanks to a recent and long-running influx of "Democratic-leaning individuals" from bankrupt socialist Northern states, my beloved Fairfax County is well on its way to transforming itself into a fiendish parody of a Soviet state.

Case in point is this latest outburst of "New Urban" communism, courtesy Soviet Commissar Clark Tyler, unelected chairman (-slash-Party-thug) of the Tyson's Corner redevelopment board. Says the Washington comPost:

Think there's no such thing as too much parking? Take a look at Tysons Corner, where there's more parking than jobs, more parking than office space, more parking than in downtown Washington. That must change, said advocates and politicians seeking to transform Virginia's largest business hub from suburb to city. Reducing parking, charging for parking and finding new uses for the acres of parking that separate Tysons' buildings and the people inside is at the heart of plans to remake the area....

"Who wants parking spaces to be the hallmark of a development?" said Clark Tyler, chairman of a Fairfax County-appointed task force preparing a Tysons redevelopment plan for later this year... Taking a new approach to parking, by building less and charging more, is a central tenet of the new urbanism that has gripped planners... [Ed.:—IDIOTS, ALL OF THEM. Speaking informally, of course.] The planners said that parking, especially free parking, encourages people to drive....parking lots coat the ground with impervious asphalt that sends dirty runoff into rivers and streams...parking is often ugly and creates spaces that discourage walking or the use of a transit system.... Reducing the supply of parking is one way to change people's habits and patterns of development...Other crucial pieces include a grid of streets...and transit, which is why Tysons boosters have been pushing so hard for a Metrorail extension...


Allow me to translate: "Citizens of Virginia, you will live your lives according to the diktats we give you, and we will hear no complaints. After all, we know better than you do. Those who do not comply with this new policy will be sent to environmental reeducation centers accordingly."

As someone who drives to Tyson's Corner every single day, I've gotta say that this is an absolute hoot. After all, why should we live with all of our DASTARDLY!!!! free parking, when we can switch to the New Stalinist—er, make that "New Urbanist"—way espoused by the People's Republic of the District of Columbia, with its glorious and triumphant $43.00 per day parking.

Praise be to Lenin, Hallelujah!

Mr. Tyler, I think it's high time you move yourself (and hopefully everyone you know) to your ideal New Urbanist utopia of New York City. You'll have all of the expensive parking you'll ever want there, any time you want it.

Except when the "few" spaces are all filled up, that is.

Either way, with you having left the ancient and historic Commonwealth of Virginia, the rest of us will be that much better off.

And we'll be free to continue enjoying our glorious free parking.

(Oops, forgot: h/t 3AngelaD!)

  Ye Olde Dominion


Comments:

#1 Cletus 08-Jul-2008
assassinate him

do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it
#2 forest 08-Jul-2008
So, this guy wants to create a parking shortage intentionally through coercive measures. Great idea - then it will be more like that paradise called Washington DC.
#3 Jonathan 08-Jul-2008
"More parking than jobs."

????

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Am I supposed to be surprised by that? What a moron...
#4 Brian C. Ledbetter 08-Jul-2008
I'm sure it's very easily explained: He's [i]cavalierly[/i] ignoring the fact that Tyson's Corner attracts shoppers from about 75 miles around, thus requiring "more" parking than "jobs."

Seriously. If Clark Tyler is the [i]finest[/i] public servant that we can find here in Virginia, we're [i]doomed[/i].

Thanks for stopping by, Jonathan!

Regards,
Brian
#5 captainfish 08-Jul-2008
$43.00 per day parking.

?!!?!?!?!?

Holy Freak!!!

But then, that is the way Universities have been going lately. My nice down-home country-boy university of Oklahoma State just recently bulldozed 4 square blocks of homes in order to build brand spanking new parking garage and transit center. The on-campus parking will be bulldozed for "green" spaces. Now, university staff and off-campus students will now have to drive TO the parking garages and then pay to ride the "shuttle" buses to their respective buildings.

I am glad I am out of there before it was finished. University of Oklahoma was this way 20 years ago. They embraced a non-vehicular ecological design. Means people now have to walk twice as far now.

Want to jump in your car and get to lunch and drive back before that lunch hour is over? Nope. Now it takes 20 minutes to wait for the shuttle and get to your car. Or, you can now walk to the parking garage and end up drenched in sweat once there.

Thank you commies.
#6 Frank 13-Sep-2008
Actually, Gerry Connolly likes to limit parking in Fairfax County so then developers have to give him money to request modifications to their development plans.

This funds Connolly's campaign slush fund.
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