Or, welcome to my low-maintenance heck.
"We, in Scotland, cannot figure out why people are even botherin' to hold an election in the United States.
On one side, ye have a pants-wearing lawyer, married to a lawyer who cannot keep his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer who goes to the wrong church who is married to yet another lawyer who doesn't even like the country her husband wants to run.
Now...On the other side, you have a nice, old war hero whose name starts with the appropriate Mc terminology married to a good looking younger woman who owns a beer distributorship.
What in Lord's name are ye lads thinkin' over there in the colonies?"
(Hat Tip: David)