The Ghost of Snapped Shot

Or, welcome to my low-maintenance heck.

Most Scientific White House Evar Eschews Scientific Process

Fresh on the heels of the Climate scandal that's rocking the world, we get a "What, Me Worry?" from the Presidential Spokesdunce-in-Chief: (I'll translate Robert's babblings for you in italics below.)

The White House on Monday made exceptionally clear that it wants nothing to do with the furor over documents that global warming skeptics say prove the phenomenon is not a threat.

Posh. Releasing documents that prove scientists suppressing the process of "Scientific inquiry" clearly has nothing to do with "Science." Begone, foul disbelievers in the long-settled Flat Earth Conjecture!

Despite the incident, which rocked international headlines last week, climate science is sound, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs stressed this afternoon, and the White House nonetheless believes "climate change is happening."

Even with snowfall coming earlier than in years, and a pronounced ten-year cooling trend, huh? A pox on that dastardly weather machine in the sky, I say!

"I don't think that's anything that is, quite frankly, among most people, in dispute anymore," he said during Monday's press briefing.

Sure, especially considering that "Going Green" is currently an unstoppable trillion-dollar marketing juggernaut. I'm sure that has nothing at all to do with the public's perception. No, no, no, our mandatory Flat Earth training in our nation's public schools has nothing whatsoever to do with this trend!

Climate change skeptics have asserted over the past week that the publication of more than 1,000 private e-mails and documents once housed in the University of East Anglia's computer system refutes most modern global warming evidence.

If by "Climate change skeptics," you mean REAL scientists who believe in the REAL scientific process of data exchange and inquiry, then perhaps this sentence is correct. The White House clearly prefers the religious undertones of calling them Flat Earth Disbelievers, I'm sure.

The documents, unearthed by a blogger who hacked into Climate Research Unit's (CRU) private system, have since touched off an international debate over the veracity of those scientists' works.

Poppycock: Nobody knows who "hacked" the files, or if they were released by Ye Olde Whistleblower (Hero of the Left, Except When The Leak Exposes The Left!). Whomever the rotten scoundrel is, he will surely be burned at the stake for daring to threaten the upcoming Flat Earth Symposium!

"I think there's no real scientific basis for the dispute of this," responded Gibbs to questions about those scientists' credibility.

No doubt Robert Gibbs' credibility is boosted by his Doctorate in Physics from Stanford -- oh, wait, that's not right. Obviously, my background has no bearing on my credibility in speaking of advanced Flat Earth Physics.

Nevertheless, congressional Republicans this week hope to ramp up their criticism of both global warming policy and the science that informs it.

Because, apparently, Belief In Global Warming has now been elevated to the core platform of the Democratic Party, since it's only we evil Earth-Hating Retttthuglicans who are even thinking about giving the leaked CRU e-mails any credence.

"[T]his thing is serious, you think about the literally millions of dollars that have been thrown away on some of this stuff that they came out with," [Sen. James Inhofe (R-Ok)] told reporters, noting it was "interesting" the e-mails surfaced before the Copenhagen summit.

(a), it's actually trillions of dollars, and (b) the last paragraph in the story is obviously the only place we'd expect to find commentary from anyone other than The King's Official Jester.

Robert Gibbs is a clown, but at least in light of the current Administration, he's not out of his element.


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