Ace of Spades commenter Garrett provides fodder for a doozy.
The Department of Pretendustry: Suggests garrett.
We should create a full cabinet-level department for pretendustry, because plainly we're a world leader in pretendustry. Certainly we're losing all desire to compete in dirty, filthy industry.
But we remain the most pretendustrious nation in the world. Our gross pretendustrial output is rising every year.
On a related note, Snapped Shot Earth Science Laboratories is now accepting cash donations from corporations seeking to increase their Gross Pretendustric Output. We are world experts at applying Deming's famous Total Quality Management process—to wit: pretending to be productive by checking checkboxes excellently—and will apply TQM using our patented management techniques to ensure the greatest flux potential of your environmental business needs!
Or something, uhh huhuh.