The Ghost of Snapped Shot

Or, welcome to my low-maintenance heck.

Newsflash: Hippies Still Lack Intelligence

Despite the fact that Canadian geese are so numerous as to be a health risk [PDF] in many areas, a group of aging hippies in Oregon continue to illustrate everything that went wrong with our country some 40 years ago:

Service planned to mourn geese euthanized in Bend

BEND -- To mourn the death of 109 Canada geese that were euthanized at the behest of the Bend Park & Recreation District, some city residents plan to hold a memorial service at the Galveston Bridge in Drake Park on Thursday evening to remember the slain birds.


"I think a memorial like this will help people console each other," said 62-year-old Bend resident Foster Fell, as he stood outside the Bend Public Library with fliers decrying the park district's use of lethal methods on Canada geese. "I, myself, in the last few days have been nursing a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat."

Fell said he moved to Bend two years ago to "rub elbows" with Central Oregon's wildlife, and during that time found the Canada goose to be an iconic image of the city and its parks. When he found out that the park district was going to start killing the geese, he started organizing a campaign to persuade it to maintain its nonlethal efforts to control the population.

It delights me to no end to point out that this token resident is a relative newcomer who thinks he knows everything there is to know about Bend, Oregon—and is more than comfortable pushing the other citizens of Bend into conforming to his ideological preferences (which in this case appear to be "nature worship.")

This phenomenon is not limited to Oregon by any stretch of the imagination. From Raleigh, North Carolina to suburban Fairfax County, Virginia, I've seen many cases where newcomers insist on dictating policy to long-time residents who have a vested interest in the area. From tax increases to bond issues, these people pile endless amounts of debt and government spending on the populace, only to lift tail and run to neighboring counties once their economic policies come home to roost in the form of decimated quality of life.

If the press were really interested in a hard-hitting story, I'd definitely be interested in hearing what your average American thinks of his newly-arrived dictatorial neighbors.

Considering that this would invite commentary approaching disdain of our urban "betters," I'm not holding my breath—But it'd be interesting to hear nonetheless.

Incidentally, I'd place odds that Foster Fell attended Woodstock at somewhere north of 100%.

(with thanks to captainfish for the tip)



#1 Kevin 08-Jul-2010

It would have been awesome if, at the end of the story, they printed a recipe for stuffed goose.

#2 Brian C. Ledbetter 08-Jul-2010

LOL! No kidding! That would be a better way to exterminate geese, now wouldn't it? (though I can't imagine how gamey they'd be... :) )

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